I've been struggling with anxiety and panic attacks on a daily basis for many years, as you can read in Faber's Story. Over the last two years I searched for any possibile solution to 'fix myself' and to 'get rid of the anxiety', until I stumbled upon as what is being called as 'The Three Principles', an understanding about life, about how we as human beings work. I started to realize that I had never been afraid, I just really thought I was. Today, I want to share more about what I saw for myself and what feels very much to me as A Gift from Heaven.
In today's world there are many books, podcasts, video's and online programs in which people offer tactics and methods to be less afraid or even to be fearless. By using affirmations, changing the submodalities (NLP) or changing our thought patterns (CBT) we (try to) think differently about something happening in the outside world. For some people it seems to work, for others it only seems to make things worse. From what I've seen so far, there are 2 misplaced assumptions at play creating the different outcomes:
1. There is something outside of us which can cause us to feel a certain way.
2. We are in control over our own thinking.
If there was really something outside of us which could make us feel a certain way, everyone should have a fear of heights or no one. If there was really something outside of us which could make us feel a certain way, how can our life look so wonderful one day and so miserable a few days later, while basically nothing has changed. What if, and just what if, we had it all wrong. What if we experience the world not outside-in but inside-out. Which means that there's not something outside of us which causes us to feel a certain way, but that it's only our thoughts about the thing outside of us that gives us a particular feeling. It's like there are two different tracks:
1. The track of life, the things that happen outside of us.
2. The track of our inner world, our thoughts about the things happening outside of us.
In which the two tracks are completely independent, 100% of the time, no exceptions.
About 3 years ago, I started trying out different meditation practices and reading related books. One of the first things I learned was that I am not the voice in my head, because you don't know what you will think in 2 minutes from now, right? When being in meditation, the moment I would notice my mind wandering off I learned to come back to my breath. However, outside of my meditation practice my mind would wander all the time, mostly towards fearful stories. But if I'm not the voice in my head and therefore not choose my own thoughts, why would we try to create our own thoughts or to change our thinking? More so, the moment you thought a certain thought, it can not be undone and it will create a feeling in you. And if fear is solely made of thought, the majority of the time I don't really chose to be/feel afraid either.
One of the quickly drawn conclusions is then that we are left living a life in fear, which used to be my biggest enemy. However, when we realize that the source of all fear is thought, it isn't much of a big deal to be afraid anymore. We don't have to overcome our fears because there was nothing scary to begin with. And as I know that my thoughts are ever changing, I don't have to put a lot of effort in trying to change my thinking but I can just live my life and see my thoughts changing all by itself. This leaves me with an incredible freedom to go out and experience life fully.
'If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world'